Lately I’ve been really forcing myself to do arty stuff. Not because I don’t want to, but because it’s not going very well and I’m dreading it. Doing art just increases my stress levels right now, and so I don’t enjoy it. It’s feeling like work. My productivity level has fallen and I’m just generally feeling a little sad and disappointed in myself. To be honest I’m not entirely sure why, and I’m not entirely sure why I’m blaming myself. I think I had better get used to this see-saw though. The life of an art student/artist is a rollercoaster;
Sooo yeah having a hard time at the moment. I’m trying to do little fun things in my comfort zone to keep myself happy;
I ran into some old guy I’d met months ago while doing the above drawing in the park. We had a nice chat about all sorts; life, religion, spirituality, relationships, jobs, card-making. And he tried to get me to try his fruit flavoured e-cigarette. Like that would ever happen. I enjoy meeting people while I draw. Getting out of my room to practise the art of speech is always good too.
The painting that started my downward spiral was this one;
I enjoyed and hated this painting, and ended up leaving it unfinished and moving on to prevent a mental breakdown. It’s strange. My happy-sad cycles seem to happen within days of eachother, rather than weeks or months like what seems to be normal. I’m like a pre-pubescent mood-swingy teen all over again. My mind is just racing waaaay ahead of my current ability. I need to chill out. Someone help me chill out. Plz.